Inside the Nine

Inside the Nine

As the feeling of hate swirled within me,
I came to realize the foundation
Of this world is nothing but damnation.
Enemy, show me what you wanna be.

I have longed to liberate my madness.
I don't understand the malice that makes
Me this way; what has happened for God's sakes?
What did I do to deserve all of this?

No matter how hard I tried, you lied to
Me for so long; I am Tattered & Torn.
This can't be the reason that I was born.
Pain was always free...and it waits for you.

Sadly, only one of us walks away.
I'll give you a hint; it surely isn't
That angry soul who defames on fine print.
Why is this the direction my life sways?

It's hard to stay between the lines of skin.
You don't matter; nobody matters here
Except me; the sole being that I fear.
Thank God I have found no one who's akin.

I'm in this maze...this psychopathic daze...
You can't even look me in the eye...
Well then, I shall exit; good day, goodbye.
Despite there is no escape from this maze.

Pain--made to order; I cannot abstain
From this feeling of animosity
I somehow disguise as temerity.
Yet all I have gained, felt, lived through...is pain.

Why must you keep mocking me for nothing?
Except my flaws, aesthetics, my stature...
Even though they're the only things left pure.
I can't do anything...not even sing.

Here comes that familiar feeling of
Hatred both towards myself and the world.
I thought about forgiveness once; I hurled.
Ditto for atonement, perfection, love...

I know you, ergo you know me, right? Wrong.
I'm totalitarian; leave me please.
If so, I might finally be at ease.
Oh how I wish to finally belong.

Hard to believe, but it is not so swell
To be hated; the thought of loneliness,
Being in a constant state of distress.
Now that I think about it; go to hell.

All of you, go to hell and burn, decease.
Not just to die, of course; to run far from
Me; to save you from becoming as dumb
As me...for I am cold, ugly...a disease.

Leave me in peace once; please, just once.
You've made into this...this...monster.
This beast whose goal is to just make you suffer.
I have not felt this befuddled in months...

For this, I have you to thank, you loser.
For making me hate myself over and
Over...when you are the one to hate; how grand.
My life keeps getting better and better.

You are a self-centered, ignorant prick.
I know you more than you think, you base ingrate.
Your power comes from self-loathing, mine, hate.
To be frank, the whole thing I think is (sic).

~Im-A-Horror-Freak